Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
