dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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