I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
