I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
