if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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