i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
