Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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