So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
