...so i touched it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
