I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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