That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
