Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
