A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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