Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
