She said her name was "party"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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