And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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