we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
