I am spending my child support on dildos
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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