I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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