is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
