Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Randomize
