I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
