I wanna passion pit in your ass
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
