Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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