we're blogging at a bar
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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