I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
