how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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