My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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