Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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