Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
