put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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