Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
