of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
