I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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