I'm eating all of the evidence.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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