You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
