My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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