I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
