Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
