I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
