The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
only you would photoshop your dick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
