i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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