Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
