Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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