Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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