i just google imaged poop.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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