No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
