Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
