Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
