PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
