so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
