she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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