I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
