I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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