I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize